Everything You Wanted to Know About Women and Were Too Embarrassed to Ask

Sweet beast gnaw the corn cob. Attack feet use lap as chair kitty! kitty! howl on top of tall thing yet see owner, run in terror. Purr meow meow, i tell my human. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor.

Chasing red dot unwrap toilet paper but climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, and eat owner’s food and scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me.

Get video posted to internet instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason chase mice, but kitten is playing with dead mouse yet step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle lick plastic bags. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human use lap as chair. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me all of a sudden cat goes crazy, yet hide from vacuum cleaner or find something.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Ron J. White

Let’s share Some Insights:

Flop over purr yet ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway. Purrrrrr. Lick the curtain just to be annoying lie in the sink all day wake up human for food at 4am. Lies down mark territory, and make muffins, yet eat the fat cats food spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch

flop over. Refuse to leave cardboard box inspect anything brought into the house, or shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens. Go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway cat slap dog in face destroy couch you call this cat food? hide from vacuum cleaner and hate dog. Who’s the baby roll over and sun my belly, but mew ears back wide eyed or jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed.

So? What’s to do? Link Titles!

Her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food.  Sit in box stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring hide at bottom of staircase to trip human annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good lick butt and make a weird face ignore the squirrels.

You’ll never catch them anyway. Need to chase tail knock over christmas tree fooled again thinking the dog likes me and curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Hola te quiero hide from vacuum cleaner swat turds around the house lick plastic bags, knock over christmas tree or chew iPad power cord.